Monday, September 15, 2008
Jokes :D
I thought I would post some jokes to create a better atmosphere and such. I hope you people like them. They are from a very good source (not reavealing).
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A Bush by the River
George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.The first kid said, "I want to go to Disneyland."George said, "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One".The second kid said, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's."George said, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!"The third kid said, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!"Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you are handicapped."The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!"
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Forum Mechanics
How many forum members does it takes to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
1 to move it to the Lighting section.
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section.
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
5 to flame the spell checkers.
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum.
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum.
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?".
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.
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Got any grapes?
A duck walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender says, "Nope."
The duck walks out.
The next day, the duck comes back and asks, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender says, "Still, nope."
The next day after that, the duck comes back again and asks, "Got any grapes?
"The bartender goes into a rage and screams, "If you ask me that one more time, I'll nail your beak shut!"
The duck walks out.
The next day, the duck walks in and asks, "Got any nails?"
The bartender looks at the duck, confused, and says, "No..."
The duck says, "Good. Got any grapes?
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LOLOLOL! There are more! But I will only post them at other times :D
Life is too short
8:23 PM
